Guest Contributions

Alcohol is sweeter than working out. Man facts by James Famo

By Rachel | 6th January 2016

Do not listen to the people who tell lies about endorphins and feel-good hormones being released in the gym. This was not our writer’s experience at all as you will soon see below:

So I’m gonna report myself now as I suspect my wife will do it soon.

I went to the gym with her today…my first time in 20 years I think. Everything started well; I got on the treadmill, lost 20 calories walking, got on another one and lost 30 calories running, got on the bicycle thingie and did a whole 70 calories.

By now I was feeling pretty good with myself (this gym thing wasn’t so hard)…I decided to up the ante and went over to the weights section, got on a bench and started lifting some major kgs (they felt major to me..might have been mini sha).

15 seconds into my new routine, I felt the need to drop them, I obeyed. Then I felt the need to lie down, tried the bench, need increased…need turned into urgent desire to lie down, images were becoming blurred, somehow managed to crawl (all dignity had taken flight here) to the confectionery stand.

Wifey finally noticed me now and hurried over. I managed to blurt out my need for water to one of the three images of her in front of me….a few gulps later the images merged into one, with a few worried looking gym instructors asking if I was okay (I think they preferred I did my dying routine elsewhere).

Anyway I stepped outside and after several large intakes of the cold air, I was back to my normal “healthy” self. Spent the rest of the gym time taking pictures whilst wifey completed her regime. I think I’ll stick to lifting beer bottles….this gym thing isn’t for me obviously!!!